Mom was born on September 8, 1905 near Iola in Waupaca County. She was the middle child of five born to Byron and Julia (Johnson) Benson. They lived on Trout Creek Farm in the Town of Iola, a few miles west of the village of Iola.
These were Americans who proudly practiced their Norwegian culture and Lutheran religion in a community of mostly Norwegian Americans. Mom’s family followed an especially devout form of Norwegian Lutheranism, called Hauge. These folks were strict, really strict...no alcohol, no dancing, no card playing, etc. But don’t get the idea they were not loving and caring people...cause they were. They were very considerate of other people and their feelings.
One of the salient features that Mom taught was to consider how other people feel. Time after time when I shared an unpleasant experience she would counter, “how do you think (the other person) felt”. Empathy is what we call this and Mom was a practitioner, completely consistent with her Hauge Lutheran beliefs and traditions.
Another trait was her stoicism, also a strong Norwegian feature. When she suffered she suffered in silence, never expressing her hurt aloud. Rather, her main reaction to any adversity was deep disappointment and visible sadness. The only visible outcome of this was some sick headaches and bed rest.
Devotion to her family was another trait we all witnessed and internalized. During the 1940’s (war and post-war) when Dad was away at school in Madison (UW) we would drive to Iola from our home in Manitowoc to spend quality time with our Benson grandparents and with Mom’s siblings, two who lived there and sometimes one or both families of Mom’s two brothers, Uncle Ben (So. Dakota) or Uncle Mitt (Kansas) and their families.
A mother of three active boys, Mom was essentially a “single Mom” every summer until I was seven or eight. Despite limited post-depression finances, Dad made it a goal to complete his four-year degree and his master’s degree at the University of Wisconsin. He knew his future and ours depended on it. And Mom was a key part of this plan, she was a “single Mom” all summer for eight weeks. Further, Dad had to work at J.C. Penney’s almost every Friday night and Saturday to help make ends meet. So you can see again, the contribution our Mom made to their family. Her role in our upbringing was “monumental”.
I cannot leave this essay about my Mom without talking about her style and grace. Mom was as stylish as possible given the limited income of our family while we were growing up. She exuded dignity and grace at all times. It was easy to see where all of that came from when you consider each of her siblings and their parents. From all outward appearances the Benson family and its extended family were the picture of gentry, certainly not dirt farmers. They faithfully worshipped at their country church which meant they traveled the five miles there and back in a surrey drawn by horses, no matter what the weather. In winter the surrey was replaced by a sleigh.
Most of Mom’s siblings attended a private boarding school some five miles from home in Scandinavia known as Central Wisconsin College where they completed high school and zeroed in on a career. Each sibling went on to a respectable career, such as bookkeeping, teaching, business, etc. Eldest sibling, Violet became a bookkeeper after finishing school at a Wausau business college. Uncle Ben (Granville) entered business with J.C. Penney and became a successful manager of the store in Rapid City, South Dakota. Uncle Mitt also joined Penney’s and managed stores in Abilene, Kansas and Winfield, Kansas. Aunt Jeanette also was a bookkeeper and the musician of the family. She was organist for their church in Iola and later at Mt. Hope Lutheran in West Allis, WI. Each one was successful.
Mom was no slouch either as she pursued a career in teaching at Central Wisconsin College and later at the state teacher’s college in Oshkosh and in Milwaukee. Her first years were in one-room schools in Waupaca county, the last of which was the school near her family home, Trout Creek School, where she taught her youngest sibling, Jeanette.
But these were all transitional positions, as Mom moved nearly every year, ending up at the elementary school in Big Falls, Wisconsin. This was a four-room school where she came to teach third and fourth grade. And who should open the door for her on her first day of work but her future husband, Alfred John Wunrow. The rest is this part of her story is history.
Mom played the organ and piano and was the organist at our church in Manitowoc, Redeemer Lutheran. Later in 1947 we moved to West Allis when Dad became the principal of LaFollette School there. We joined Trinity Lutheran in West Allis and soon Mom became the organist there, too, and even directed the choir for some time.
Eventually, as I moved into the middle grades in school, Mom returned to work first in a retail card shop, Reddin’s Gift Shop, in West Allis. Then she decided to return to teaching which required that she update her credentials by attending classes at Milwaukee State Teacher’s College. Over the next ten or fifteen years she did a lot of long term substitute teaching in the West Allis.
Retirement came to my parents in 1965 and they began to travel and spend time with each of their sons’ families. For Gary, who lived out of state, this meant week long visits. For my brother Keith and I this meant Sunday dinners, babysitting and help with various household projects.
Our family home in West Allis was at 1349 South 85th Street, a Milwaukee-style bungalow, and Mom’s first house they owned. They lived here from 1947 until the late 1980’s when health concerns sent them to the Lutheran Home for the Aging in Wauwatosa.
Mom and Dad died early in 1991 within three weeks of each other. Fortunately they enjoyed many retirement years together, a rather notable change from their years raising children and working; years where time together was often rationed, but precious.
Mom was a quiet warrior in our family, a role she relished and succeeded at. Her influence on each of us was a major factor for the sons she nurtured, and she accomplished this task with aplomb, poise, composure, and grace.
Happy Birthday, Mom
